Thursday, December 29, 2005 / 12:18 AM
haiz... suddenly feel that i am super long winded... although i have just posted a not so happy blog, i feel the urge to put some happy things down too... it may seem mild or even lame but to me... i feel super excited!!!!!
I am going to re-decorate my room... wif the coming of the new year.... i feel the urge suddenly to start everything anew... i bought 4 big files yesterday to reorganise my notes... i am going to throw some away so that i have more room for new stuff... in addition... i have decided to place cute little soft toys on my desk so that i will have more mood to study.... daddy also wants to get me a new cupboard to put my notes orderly as well as one or two shelves on the wall for me to display all my pooh bears...
my new year resolution is to work doubly hard in my studies and learn as much as i can during the ia... i am going to keep a super nice schedule of all the stuff i have and maybe try to construct a tag board so tat my desk dun look so unfriendly...
however.. is it sad that my mum gonna throw away the two poohs on my bed. although i haf a new one in my cupboard to replace those two... it is still different cos those two were my very very first two poohs.... from my parents too... one from sogo (closed down already...remember that bought is at the open space in raffles city) the second one is from thailand.... oh well the new ones doesn't come if the old ones dun go so no choice... anyway... really looking forward to the new year... the onli sad thing is that i have even less chances to meet up wif autumn clover, ice-zenith, yz, xy, jw, bq they all....
Oh well... holidays are ending soon... especially for those of us who are doing ia... mine start on the 3rd jan which means next week tue.. that leaves me wif a mere 5 days of precious holiday left... not to mention that i have training on sat.... so in the end i am left wif 4 days of holidays....
Today went to pandan road for this safety orientaion course so as to get the permit to enter jurong island as well as to work in the oil & petrochemical industry... today is the earliest i have ever awaken in the whole holiday i guess... at 6.45 am.. of course not counting sat trainings that require me to wake up at 7am.... hmmm... what can i say? the course is a waste of my time?
not that i din learn anything but then all that was really required can be taught in a few hours but instead the course took one whole day... not to mention that i only know there was a test at 4 pm one hour into the course. there were basically 2 lecturers...both are rather boring but i prefer the older one. although he was not that fluent, can feel hs sincerity and attempts to make the lesson interesting... the other one... all i remember about him was his rather egoistic tone, the fact that he keep stressing he had a double degree in one of the best uni in US and that he is a volunteer not like NKF who pay volunteers... tat one has to be passionate and compassionate to be able to teach so long like him.... a lot of useless stuff... no doubt it is interesting but i just can't help but keep dozing off... luckily there were like 3 breaks so i can freshen up a bit... glad to say i got my pass successfully at the end of the day...
sad to say i have decide to take up this nite module that clashes wif my mon training... i seriously need to take a module and there are not much choices available... not to mention that i cannot just pick any blindly cos my caps are at stake... i noe that some ple will be affected cos of my absence from trainings ( stunts cannot be performed) but i seriously hope that they will understand. i feel that i have sacrifice a lot for this cca despite repeated scoldings from my parents to quit but then to place my studies at stake is a bit too much for me. after serious considerations i have decided to take up the module and i sincerely offer my apologies to my team mates. but i assure u that i will go for the rest of the trainings no matter how sick or tired i may be unless the company has requested that i do ot.... here i would like to say.."SORRY guys... i noe i am a bit selfish but to sacrifice my studies is something i dun tink i can do. so pls allow me to be selfish this once k? i promise to work really hard during trainings as always."
Wednesday, December 07, 2005 / 11:29 PM
Wonder why is it that small little stuff can evoke such overwhelming sense of emptiness within oneself that u feel like u are drowning... Suddenly u realise that u are rather useless and that u are redundant.... no required by anyone... it makes u feel so down that u just hope that u can disappear instantly or just hide in a corner and cry.... and it always seems so coincident that all the small little stuff will just come at u one after another that there is no way u can ignore or get over it in time...
